Me: 哇，你知道 hor, 刚才我去换钱的时候很热 leh!
Popo: 谁叫你那么 last minute?
Me: 我哪里有 last minute!
Popo: 你几时飞？
Me: 星期一
Popo: 这样不是 last minute meh???
She may be stubborn at times and suffers from bouts of forgetfulness but boy is she still witty.
On a side note, today I have officially become her only unmarried granddaughter.
下个星期就要去台湾了！好期待哦！但是我读繁体字的速度非常慢，而且还需要好朋友 Google Translate 的帮助才能了解细节。我讲的华语也不是说很流利，经常是从英语翻译过来的 －真可笑，似乎11年的筹备已经忘了一干二净。还记得在念中学时能在一个半小时的时间写出一章报章报导… 现在除了会写了我的名字之外，也没什么识字了。
或许我把话说得太夸张了，哈哈。
最近生活有什么进展呢？？还是老样子，但这星期五是我上班的最后一天！不瞒你们说，早已在两个星期前开始盼望这天。现在如今是最后一个星期，感触良多，但最终还是深深地感谢在公司实习的这段日子。还有好多公事还没彻底地交代，好头痛呀。
凌晨一点了，一觉醒来又要上班了。真希望这是今年最后一个 Monday Blues.
***
I actually have a lot to say regarding PI ending but I feel like I have exhausted my Chinese vocab so oh well I’ll save it for another entry. 晚安！
There are times I wish I could start afresh in a new environment where no one knows me and vice-versa. I would be the person I have always wanted to be: Accountable only to myself, lazy, less of an over-thinker, etc. I wouldn’t care about socialising either – making new friends would mean I’ll have to conform to social norms again, which defeats the purpose of remaining anonymous.
Ideally, I would spend my days chilling at a lake with a fat, stumpy corgi in tow. This lake would be set against the stunning backdrop of snowcapped mountains too. I would never tire of it, I swear. Maybe I’ll try my hand at painting.
I wouldn’t work either; I’ll have enough to support myself comfortably (and my corgi) for the rest of my life. I don’t have to be rich, you know, because I know I am terrible at making astute financial decisions. On days when I’m at home, I would while my day away watching baking videos, especially those on macarons. I don’t bake, and neither do I like the taste of macarons, but there is something immensely satisfying about perfect macaron shells.
Perhaps I’ll cook, too. But because I’ll be a full-time sloth, I’d probably cook a one-pot meal that can last for a week. Buzzfeed Food has a library of recipes, by the way.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Last night, my nose bled three times in two hours.
Savage.
I suspect it was due to a combination of the flu I have had since last week (I blow my nose really hard sometimes) and the lethal portion of fried food I ate the night before. Too much going on, too much.
I used to fear nosebleeds like the plague. When I was 5/6, I literally threw up blood and had to be hospitalised for a week. I also remember getting blood transfusions… It was that bad. Until I was 18, every nosebleed I got would remind me of this traumatic episode – which made matters worse because then I would start crying and the blood would trickle down my throat. This was usually the time I would panic since any moment now, I might just projectile-vomit crimson goop. It’s a huge psychological barrier for me to overcome.
I am a lot calmer at handling nosebleeds these days – pinch my nose and focus on an inanimate object for 10 minutes – but I still shudder at the mental flashbacks of blood-soaked bedsheets and ruby-red puddles on my bedroom floor. The tear dam, thankfully, has held up well since.
(A mental monologue ensues.)
You know, I do enjoy sharing some (filtered) bits and pieces of my (boring) life and the occasional (incoherent) pseudo-introspective thought but there have been many instances where I write a complete entry and then pause to ponder what and who exactly I’m writing for. Am I writing to record my daily activities? No; if that were the case I would have written about how my Director casually remarked that her daughter would grow up to resemble me (no shit, she really said that… but her daughter is sooo cute I want to squish her hehe). Then on another day I would be recounting how my colleague and I stupidly forgot to press our floor number in the lift because we were too engrossed in our conversation.
Am I, then, writing to subtly impress on my readers a larger-than-life version of myself, especially with those pseudo-thought-provoking remarks I indulge in from time to time? In such cases, I would start mulling over the underlying messages I am trying to convey. If something has the potential to be misconstrued, I edit it. If it completely changes my original intent, however, then I would remove it. When there are too many items to remove, into the trash it goes. Most of the time, though, I leave it in my drafts folder.
As for who I’m writing for, well, suffice to say, I have always written with an audience in mind. From the moment I created PP to document my exchange travels to connecting it to Facebook and finally to reactivating it again after I came back from Laos – I will not deny that these actions cater to the more attention-seeking, narcissistic side of myself.
(At this point I must clarify I have already lost the original intent of this post………….)
I don’t know what I’m doing on WordPress (and for the life of myself, Instagram too) anymore.
Ha, or maybe I just need a mind-blowing perspective/conversation on this.
Did a number of activities this weekend that were reminiscent of my secondary school days. Sucked at them then and still suck at them. Ah well, sometimes just gotta chill and not take things so seriously.
But the main highlight of the weekend was……..
…
…
…
Visiting a LAN shop for the first time HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Was honestly hesitant about joining the rest that I volunteered to be an observer but obviously they weren’t having any of that so errrr thanks for the peer pressure guys 😂
It was fun, though! Had WB and Michelle patiently guide me through L4D2 and CS and it was quite a good first experience. Never thought I would say this but…
I don’t mind going back again 🌚🌚 HAHA shiiiittt 走火入魔了
It’s been a lull week at work. Not in the sense that I didn’t have stuff to do (in fact, I have a backlog of clippings and valuation reports that I have been procrastinating for the longest time), but some of the project accounts that I have been busy with since the start of PI have mostly concluded. Then there’s a retainer client whose account I’m particularly vested in – things will pick up speed again later this month. I’m oddly looking forward to it.
My monday blues are definitely not as severe as they were back in Feb/Mar, but every Sunday evening is still filled with a reasonable amount of dread and worry for the upcoming week.
Which I think is normal. But somewhere along the way I figured that there is a lesson to be learnt in every choice I make no matter what the outcome is. I may be an overthinker and a worrywart, but if anything, I like to get things done and that’s when my ‘Fuck It’ attitude comes in. Think first, do now, worry later.
Or maybe I have become more self-assured after my mini rant in March. It’s a result of a combination of several factors, really. Whatever the case is, I am not as high-strung as I was two months ago.
On a separate note, an incident early in the week made me realise how I would go all lengths to avoid awkward small talk, especially when I can foresee the conversation revolving around work… And I dislike making small talk about work after work.
I iz liddat lor.
Lastly, I finally caught Captain America yesterday!!!!! Then I went to torrent Avengers: Age of Ultron today because I never got around to doing so for one entire year (yeah #lazywq strikes again). Surely I’m not the only one who likes to see them all suited up and be kickass???!
For the most part, I am actually a lazy person. While thankfully this laziness does not occur at work, it has unfortunately manifested itself in the perceived lack of concern in some of my relationships.
Which got me contemplating the kind of friend I am.
I don’t think I am a bad friend but I honestly haven’t been the best either.
Meet my youngest cousin, Matthew 🙂
Poor kiddo here didn’t go on a trip with the rest of his family (parents + Gabriel korkor) because he’s too young but it’s okay since he got to spend time with me!!! HAHAHA #selfimportant #buaypaiseh #obsessedjiejie
Matthew and Gabriel (3-yo) have been such blessings to the maternal side of my family; they bring me immeasurable joy each time I interact with them. When they visited my place during CNY, Gabriel brought along his collection of toy cars and could even tell me – in proper English, no less – where each car was turning (e.g. “This taxi is going right!”) while Matthew munched silently on his strawberries. My aunt and uncle have done a good job raising them 🙂
That aside, I don’t really want them to grow up because they are so pure and innocent but obviously life doesn’t work like that.
Dear Gabriel and Matthew, may the both of you grow up to be kind, compassionate and intelligent individuals. The world may be tough, but you two will be tougher.
Can’t wait to play with the two of them again 🙂
Less updates these days because I have been making an effort to sleep before 12 every weekday night. Plus I come home mentally exhausted with zero brain juice to even think of anything meaningful… except what to wear the next day. While sleeping early hasn’t completely rid me of the lethargy I feel at work every morning, it is still a step forward in, I don’t know, reducing my over-reliance on caffeine?
(Kopi-o, teh bing, yuan yang – I want them all!!)
Yeah.
Anyway, it’s been a good week work-wise, like OMG-I-can’t-believe-things-are-actually-going-well kinda week. I have been waiting for this weekend for the longest time – mostly because I will be seeing my favourite toddler Matthew this Sunday!!!!!! Babysitting duties await~
Pickledpumpkins 