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“Christians who think we worship our pastors have got their theology wrong! We don’t worship them; we honour them!”

– basically the line which irked me throughout “service” today.

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Yesterday I happily jotted down “1 Jan ’16” in my notebook before realising, heyyyy, this doesn’t seem right! A few seconds and some hasty pen scratches later, it read: 1 Jan ’17.

2017. Whew. I read somewhere that time appears to pass relatively faster as you grow older. This is because each year, when expressed as a fraction of your age, becomes smaller as the years pass. For instance, this fraction would be 1/21 in 2015, when I was 21; 1/22 in 2016, when I turned 22; and now, 1/23, the year I would turn 23.

Geddit geddit? I don’t even know if I’m explaining this correctly LOL.

Anyway, according to that logic, that would mean 2016 whizzed past in comparison to the previous years.

(Boy did it whiz past me.)

And I wish it could have lasted longer. It was an amazing year. Sure, there were some dull moments but I really couldn’t have asked for better 🙂

I can recall with lucidity the many events that occurred during the year, some of which I have publicly written about, but most of which I prefer to keep private/share amongst trusted friends.

Save for the compulsory items to tick off my to-do list this year, I haven’t come up with any new year resolutions because I know I will not have the finesse to follow through anything substantial. Call me lazy or distracted, but I believe it’s more important to be spontaneous and adaptable to your surroundings rather than to obsess over unrealistic goals and then beating yourself up for not attaining them. It helps to have clear, long-term goals, of course (everyone should have some), but don’t sweat the small stuff 🙂

I haven’t written properly in a long time and I feel my thoughts (and hence my writing) are somewhat convoluted…

Happy 2017, everyone 🙂

 

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I realise that… once you are the right person who asks the right questions at the right time, you will receive 101% honest answers from me.

Thanks Jo for letting me unload several months worth of doubt and frustration :’) I foresee a rocky path ahead but my mind is set.

It’s Christmas tomorrow. I should be happier than this.

Turning 22

 

This year was a pretty quiet affair. Some of the CG girls surprised me at midnight (“Wan Qi… errr can you come out of your house?”) with a melted slice of mousse cake, a Pooh cushion and – wait for it – a (toy) corgi!!!!!!!! Whom I have affectionately named Coco :> It’s so light, it literally drifts with the wind~~

As you might have deduced from the stuff I wrote under the big ’22’, my turning 21 was significant for me. 365 days of humbling experiences starting with Weetrip before transitioning into a memorable PI journey, stepping into church and now, rounding it off with FYP. There were many events that happened along the way; some they brought me closer to people whom I never would have thought I would be able to click with, and others, I have unfortunately drifted apart from. Nothing out of the ordinary, really – that’s life, anyway.

I decided to kickstart my 22nd year with a prayer journal. I have been putting this off for the bulk of the semester and looking back, I should have started on it earlier because my memory sucks and I cannot remember who and what to pray for, except for the same few people whose names I have no trouble recalling. A journal would help declutter and reorganise my thoughts so hopefully this will be a wonderful start to the double twos.

21 was great, but 22 will be even better 🙂

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Now that Y4S1 is well and truly over (with the past couple of weeks being a nightmare), I do have a few personal milestones I hope to achieve before the end of the year…

• Read more! Current book list includes:
  • A Dog’s Purpose (W. Bruce Cameron)
  • Kappa Quartet (Daryl Qilin Yam)
  • For anyone who wants a holiday read: I recommend reading the screenplay of local play Off Centre (Haresh Sharma) – it deals with mental health issues in Singapore, especially of depression and schizophrenia. Pretty insightful and thought-provoking, imo
• Hit 10k by 31 Dec
  • I stopped at 8k more than a month ago… Good luck to me as I try to regain my momentum
• Start a prayer journal
  • Bought a fancy black Muji notebook for this a while ago and have been procrastinating because of school work, sigh
• Watch a movie alone!
  • In fact, this may just happen tomorrow~~~~ Hello my beloved wizarding world WELCOME BACK TO THE BIG SCREEN!!!!
• Watch Kimi no Na wa!!!!
  • Graphics look a m a z e balls and the concept behind the movie is cool too!
• Catch up with friends
  • This goes without saying

Also reluctantly created a Snapchat account (@wanqilim !!) because it’s one of the platforms we are using for FYP so errr at least gotta know how it works. But no need to follow la HAHAHAHAH cos I don’t think I’ll be posting much.

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In school now furiously typing my 40% report for Comm. Campaigns that’s due this Wednesday. Feeling extra stressed because Chloe and I are doing this together alone, whereas other groups (barring Jo and Hann) have 4 group members working on the same report. I don’t know if Arul will revise his grading criteria for us given that we are at a disadvantageous position as compared to the other groups, but I can’t be bothered to ask him about it; I’d rather focus my energies on delivering something that I can be proud of.

We have also been making progress for FYP, but this also means we have more work to do, more people to meet, and more work to do (ya gotta repeat this point just because). It doesn’t help that all four of us have back-to-back submissions this week so we are literally being stretched beyond our limits, Chloe and myself especially. The only silver lining is that the thought of giving up has never crossed my mind since I’m hoping to do well for CC.

Lastly, I’ve been nursing a persistent cough for the past month. I haven’t been able to sleep well at all, often waking up in the middle of the night just to cough/drink water. I average 4 – 6 hours of sleep per night, and getting uninterrupted sleep is pretty much an obscure, unreachable ideal these days. Quality rest is something I desperately need but I cannot afford to fall apart now, not this week at least.

😥

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Happy baptism, my three dimpled friends 🙂

Took the train home with Vic where we shared some of our struggles pertaining to FYP, faith and letting go. I honestly never, never expected to be such close friends with him but today, I’m thankful for him and for our friendship 🙂 Will never forget how we camped at Macs on Tuesday night pulling our hairs out and trying to make a freaking field experiment work for our 4075 group project. It even got to the point where he scribbled the research design on his notebook and I suggested taking a photo of that page and inserting it into our appendix because we were too noob and too tired to think of the ideal statistical test to use for the experiment. Thank God we were a lot more refreshed after we got home HAHA.

But anyway, yesss, I’m so so so proud of him for making this huge commitment :’) (and of course yabbit and Zims too hehe).

 

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Having a late-night HTHT (or what I affectionately call ‘late-night ramblings’) with Wingshan because I can’t sleep/I’m too excited/I have developed a dry cough.

Was sharing with her at how truly amazed I am with God working so tirelessly in my life/my friends’ lives. This piece of news couldn’t have come at a more opportune moment :’) A mood booster in a season of weariness where battles seem long drawn out, where hearts are hardened, where souls are beat. His timing is perfect – neither too early nor too late – and His plans are good. I believe this prayer and hope, one I’ve held dearly in my heart for a while now, will eventually bear fruit.

As Zimin’s favourite praise song goes: Joy unspeakable that won’t go away~

🙂

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It’s that time of the night where I really ought to be asleep but I can’t because my mind is abuzz with the day’s reflections and excitement for a mini personal project.

One recurring thought that has crossed my mind all week is how bad I am with negative vibes. I’ve known this about myself for a while now: I absorb negative vibes like a sponge, especially those that reek of giving up and make me feel like an emotional dumpster. While I would usually be able to keep my tongue in check in such situations i.e. not add fuel to the fire, my mind would be raging with thoughts of defying God’s words and a gazillion WTFs. I would then excuse myself for some alone time after the tension has dissipated to recollect my thoughts.

Mhmmm it sickens me that even after all these years, I still haven’t conditioned myself to be more emotionally-detached. The only respite is that I tend to get over these negative emotions pretty quickly.

Humans are such complex creatures.

***

Note to anyone who’s interested: Starbucks’ matcha x espresso drink is disappointing. I could barely taste the coffee when I bought it today. No wonder Zimin asked for three additional espresso shots LOL not that I encourage it but ya I tasted 80% sugar, 19% matcha and 1% coffee. Maybe it varies from barista to barista, I don’t know. I’ll just stick to good ol’ tehbing 🙂

So many repetitive words today haha I really should sleep soon.

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If you approach the world with the apron of a servant, then you are allowed to go places that you can’t go if you approach it with the crown of a king.

Wow.