300117

“What’s the purpose of being born into this world, suffering, responding to the suffering, but in the end nobody knows and nobody cares?”

“But you know, don’t you?”

“So what if I know? Doesn’t make any difference to anyone.”

“It’s made a difference to you right?

“Yes, but so what if it’s made a difference to me? Is that all there is to life? To suffer for so many years, to lead such a sad, lonely life, just to be witnessed by one or two people around you?

“Isn’t that true for most of us, unless you are the rich and famous? Don’t all our lives get witnessed by just one or two people around us? That’s life, and life is always flowing, moving forward, history is about moving forward, not just about the past.”

— The Sound of Sch, Danielle Lim (2014)

210117

I don’t usually write about religious stuff here, but today is a day I want to remember.

After feeling frustrated, lost and discouraged over the past month, I’m glad that today, I finally found a closure to another chapter of my life.

The past six months have been pretty amazing. I thank God for placing me in the company of loving and welcoming people. I will never forget their generosity.

Even as we part ways, the God whom we worship will be the same eternally, and we will always be building His kingdom together. 

I no longer wish comment on the spiritual teachings of the church I went to (past tense… yeah); they are entitled to their views, and so am I to mine. I don’t wish to discredit their faith just because of some disagreements we have. I am in no position to critique anyone’s faith; truly, only God knows our hearts. 

This entire episode has opened my eyes to many things: church leadership and management, the power of communication and new media, evangelism, doctrinal teachings, the concept of righteousness… I’m still struggling to understand all of these things, and I don’t think I will ever fully comprehend them. 

For now, rather than rushing to find another church, I want to take this break to rest and recharge in the word of God, and also to pray hard for Him to lead me in His plans. I honestly have no clue where I’ll end up at, but I know it will be good ◡̈ 

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18

020117

Yesterday I happily jotted down “1 Jan ’16” in my notebook before realising, heyyyy, this doesn’t seem right! A few seconds and some hasty pen scratches later, it read: 1 Jan ’17.

2017. Whew. I read somewhere that time appears to pass relatively faster as you grow older. This is because each year, when expressed as a fraction of your age, becomes smaller as the years pass. For instance, this fraction would be 1/21 in 2015, when I was 21; 1/22 in 2016, when I turned 22; and now, 1/23, the year I would turn 23.

Geddit geddit? I don’t even know if I’m explaining this correctly LOL.

Anyway, according to that logic, that would mean 2016 whizzed past in comparison to the previous years.

(Boy did it whiz past me.)

And I wish it could have lasted longer. It was an amazing year. Sure, there were some dull moments but I really couldn’t have asked for better 🙂

I can recall with lucidity the many events that occurred during the year, some of which I have publicly written about, but most of which I prefer to keep private/share amongst trusted friends.

Save for the compulsory items to tick off my to-do list this year, I haven’t come up with any new year resolutions because I know I will not have the finesse to follow through anything substantial. Call me lazy or distracted, but I believe it’s more important to be spontaneous and adaptable to your surroundings rather than to obsess over unrealistic goals and then beating yourself up for not attaining them. It helps to have clear, long-term goals, of course (everyone should have some), but don’t sweat the small stuff 🙂

I haven’t written properly in a long time and I feel my thoughts (and hence my writing) are somewhat convoluted…

Happy 2017, everyone 🙂